Tired & Wired
Finding Your Way Back to Rest in Menopause.
Gentle nervous system support and compassionate self-care for sleepless nights in midlife (5 min read)
Are you finding it harder to sleep these days?
Maybe you fall into bed exhausted but your mind won’t switch off. Or maybe you drop off, only to wake at 3am - wired, restless, unable to drift back into the rest you so desperately need. If this sounds familiar you can count on the fact that you are definitely not alone!
Sleep disruption is one of the most common challenges of the menopause transition. And it often becomes a bit of a vicious circle: the less you sleep, the more stressed and ungrounded your body feels, which makes sleep even harder the next night - all that worry and anticipation.
So why does this happen - and what can help?
The Nervous System and Menopausal Sleep
As your hormones shift in midlife, you can find yourself dealing with a whole host of physical symptoms and on top of that - disrupted sleep patterns. When you're sleep deprived it's so much harder to deal with all of this, stress rises and everything feels much worse. Here's what's going on:
Estrogen and progesterone, which help support sleep and calm, naturally decline.
At the same time, cortisol, the body’s stress hormone, can rise at night, leaving you feeling “tired but wired.”
The sympathetic nervous system (our “on” switch) often becomes more active, while the parasympathetic system (our “rest and digest” state) has a harder time taking the lead.
This shift can leave you lying awake, mind racing, with your body stuck in alert mode -even when you desperately want rest.
BUT, don't despair, there is good news: understanding how this all impacts your autonomic nervous system (ANS) will give you a new way to help yourself. Learning how to work with this system when it comes to managing stress levels, relaxation and sleep bring forward a powerful self-care ally.
With the right tools and a compassionate approach, you can gently guide it back toward creating the conditions for more restful sleep.
A Compassionate Self-Care Mindset for Restful Sleep
Here's a useful framework based on my 4 step Compassionate Self-Care Mindset approach to help you find your way back to a calmer nervous system and better rest.
1. The Desire for Change
First, acknowledge your longing for better rest. It’s not “just in your head” or something you should push through. Wanting change is the starting point. Ask yourself: “What would it feel like to end the day with more softness and ease?”
2. Get on Your Own Side
It’s easy to fall into self-blame when you’re lying awake at night. Instead, meet yourself with kindness. Instead of: “Why can’t I just sleep?”, try: “Of course I’m finding this hard. My body is going through a big transition.” That shift from criticism to compassion is so important because it sends signals of calm to your nervous system, creating more softness in your body. You see your nervous system responds to the kinds of thoughts you are having.
3. Find Your Inner Anchor
Create a bedtime ritual that signals safety to your body through through caring self-touch. Gentle pressure on the nerve endings under your skin, stimulates the release of oxytocin and serotonin. Place one hand on your heart, the other on your belly and take some slow breaths. Remind yourself: “In this present moment all is well and I am safe to rest now.” These small moments of grounding give your body an anchor to return to when the mind is racing.
4. Take Compassionate Action
Practical steps matter too. Dim the lights in the evening, step away from screens, and keep your bedroom cool. Herbal teas, magnesium, or gentle restorative stretches can also support your body. Choose one small step tonight - not as a fix, but as an act of compassionate self-care to build on - small but repetitive steps are the best to teach your body new habits.
How My Work Can Support You
If you’re struggling with sleep or feeling overwhelmed by midlife changes, my work is here to support you too. Through holistic counselling, Reiki, and nervous system-focused practices, I help women find more balance, calm and self-compassion.
And in 2026, I’ll be running a new workshop: The Magic Power of the Vagus Nerve in Menopause and Beyond - an introduction to learning how to support yourself with nervous system regulation and compassionate self-care. It will be a space to reconnect with your body, discover practical tools, and begin reshaping your relationship with rest. Contact me if you're interested in getting on the waiting list.
Closing Reflection
Menopause may bring restless nights, but it’s also an invitation to listen to your body in new ways. By honouring your need for rest and meeting yourself with compassion, you can begin to loosen the cycle of stress and sleeplessness. Sleep may not change overnight, but with gentle persistence, your nervous system will start to respond.
